A special report from Gutther Bawl.

The Harry formerly-known-as Prince Harry was at the centre of a hot debate this week as news broke of a passage in his hotly-anticipated book, preaching the benefits of bowling for alleviating his worried mind.

A first experience of slapping pins, at the age of 32, was reported to have brought the ex-Prince a level of mental and emotional calm, not found anywhere else. “When you’re in a bowling alley”, he closed by saying, “everything else fades away and there’s just the sound of balls rolling down lanes and pins falling over”. 

The news broke early yesterday morning, with screenshots of the extract circulating rapidly, as such stories do in this age of connected media, 24 hour news, and the lacklustre vetting procedures of online content.

It’s patently clear why this story gained so much traction. Firstly, it’s well known that the pressures on the British Royal Family, even ex-members, can be brutal. In order to make ends meet in “Broken Britain” the new King has had to sell some of his late-mother’s racehorses, the mental anguish of which doesn’t bear thinking about.

Far more importantly though, the story rang true to all those who’ve stuck their fingers in bowling balls over the years.

The positive impact on one’s mental health that bowling can provide is no secret. Whether training or competing, the joy of success and the pain of loss are constant mentors, guiding those in darkness, and humbling those who are acting out beyond their means.

In a manner indicative of a Conan Doyle novel, investigations into the historicity of these events have proven it to be false.

Mark Twain once said “a lie will be halfway around the world while the truth is still lacing up its boots”, and once again, he’s been proven right.

Whilst the modern world has done more to technologically connect us than anything ever before, this interconnection has come at a cost. It has deprived us of the knowledge that what we read, we can trust; but far more importantly, it has worked to undermine human socialisation.

It is in opposition to this that Premier League Bowling continues to stand. There is a certainty at the heart of this league, that all shapes and sizes, colours and creeds, and levels of follicular endowment will continue to meet and share stories together, all the while launching those heavy balls at those impertinent pins.

After all, bowling, it’s like yoga but for cool tough guys.